Expressions of hate

I’ve been thinking a lot about the recent incident of vandalism at B’Nai Shalom of Olney. I’ve seen many adjectives used to describe how different people feel about this incident, from ‘saddened’ to ‘horrified’. But I haven’t seen one person who appears shocked or even surprised that this happened. Is this what’s wrong with our society? Have we come to expect not just the hate, but the expression of hate in such a public way? I have tried to process how I feel about this incident. This kind of racist/religious hatred is a form of terrorism. The people who commit crimes like this want us to be afraid. They want us to think that someone is out to get us. It is both heinous and cowardly to act out in this way. I choose to believe that it is also an expression of fear on the part of the individuals involved. Fear of the unknown, fear of those who are different, fear that they themselves are not “good enough”. They seek to degrade anything or anyone that doesn’t look like they do. It makes them feel stronger, more powerful and in control. Now, I’m all about control – real control is power in its rawest form. But I also believe that we get to choose whether or not to give up our power and to whom. I don’t know how to stop attacks like these. I believe in peaceful coexistence with all people. I applaud the leadership at B’Nai Shalom for their quiet, quick and community inclusive response. When we stand together as a common people, united by a desire for peace and understanding, regardless of race or religion, we take back some of that power. We cannot live in fear; we will not be swayed from our beliefs by the hatred of others. We may not be shocked or surprised, but if we continue to respond as a peaceful, united community we will be stronger than those who hate.

Parenting teens today

It’s a funny thing, how new technology has changed the world, sometimes for good and sometimes not so much. However, I never expected it to be a parenting tool. But here it is the end of the school year 2010 and my daughter’s facebook status says “I got sent to the principal’s office on the last day of school”. Now, you have to understand that my daughter knows that in order to stay on facebook she has to be “friends” with me and that I can read anything she writes. She is also “friends” with both of my parents, several of my friends and a few aunts & uncles. So how dumb do you have to be to put this on your status? I mean, really? It’s like taking out a full page ad in the Washington Post! At least that’s what I would have had to do when I was twelve to get that much attention paid to anything. But, forget the fact that I didn’t have access to facebook when I was a kid, I’m pretty sure I was not only smart enough not to advertise my misadventures, I worked really hard at keeping them to myself. Seriously, even my diary was kept locked in a secret location. My brother and I had a pact about these kinds of secrets. So what does it say about me that my daughter feels free to post this on her facebook status? I’m not sure – that may require some additional examination. Stay tuned…